Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
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Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
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He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
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