Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My penis needs a shock collar
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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