Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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