woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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