YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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