You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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