there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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