Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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