ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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