Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize