no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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