It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
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i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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