Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
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Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
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It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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