so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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