Need sex. Gaining weight.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you will always have a special place in my vag
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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