Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize