u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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