i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize