I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
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why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
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I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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