OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
accomplished twins. life is a go
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Randomize
