i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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