oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
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Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
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Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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