We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
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