guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I am mentally ready for anal.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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