I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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