My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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