I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize