you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
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Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
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Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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