you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize