did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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