Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
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He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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