I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Pants are for mortals
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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