put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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