Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Randomize