also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize