I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize