and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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