he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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