you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
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Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
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Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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