HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
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its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
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Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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