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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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