I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Still dying that you shit outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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