I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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