His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
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You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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