The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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