They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
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I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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