I want to make a zoo with you.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
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He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Are we still banned from the library?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
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She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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