I threw up into my coffee this morning.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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