spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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