I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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